the president looked at a senator's ass. the vice president is not gay. we measured.

Welcome back to the Watering Hole, where the straightest men in American politics spent three days talking about other men’s bodies. We built an instrument to measure it, and it’s at the bottom. On the way down, Jean Smart married two men to each other and Hungary unwrapped its gay books.

The president told a rally he looked at a senator’s ass. Then he came back for the jawline. “I don’t do this with men very often.” Jon Husted, 59, played college football. Sure, sir. keep reading →

The vice president told a man he loves him, platonically, because he’s “not James Talarico.” Talarico has a girlfriend. JD Vance, Tyler, Texas, Tuesday. This is a man who has been photographed in drag. keep reading →

A state party chair says two trans candidates have “mental disorders.” One has letters saying she’s of sound mind. Alabama GOP chair Scott Stadthagen. Terri Osborne and Allison Montgomery are on the Nov. 3 ballot. keep reading →

A Pulitzer winner says Grindr is training its AI on your photos unless you opt out. Go to settings. We’ll wait. Ronan Farrow found “where the app buried the off switch.” Grindr says messages are opt-in. keep reading →

A Fox host says the president talking about men’s asses sounds “a little gay.” He says it’s fine. Trump’s straight. Jesse Watters, on The Five, then on X: “A little gay? Maybe!” Sir, that is how it starts. keep reading →

Jean Smart officiated her Hacks co-star’s wedding and pronounced them “husband and husband.” Marry me next. Mark Indelicato married David Watson on Saturday. Hannah Einbinder and Meg Stalter came. I’m sobbing. keep reading →

Holland Taylor was asked if she’d ever work with Sarah Paulson. Her answer: “wouldn’t it be creepy?” She says she asked Paulson, who said “kinda.” On Today, Tuesday. Love is knowing. keep reading →

The Heated Rivalry stars were “very game.” The creator drew the line anyway. We would like to file a complaint. Jacob Tierney: “I’m not showing your dicks.” Season 2 is six episodes. We’ll cope. Barely. keep reading →

The Bond villain who felt up James Bond in Skyfall says that was his idea. We owe this man everything. Javier Bardem pitched it, Sam Mendes said yes. Bond’s reply is still the gayest line in the franchise. keep reading →

A director promised us an NC-17 gay romance starring Pedro Pascal. Now it’s “most likely” an R. I’m being brave. Todd Haynes, on De Noche, with Danny Ramirez. Honestly the only thing about it I don’t love. keep reading →

Two TV news bosses were fired over a memo saying Pride coverage needed “both sides.” A jury just gave them $4 million. Read the fine print: the jury rejected defamation but found Nexstar violated their privacy. It will appeal. keep reading →

Hungary used to wrap gay kids’ books in black plastic. Parliament just voted 139 to 51 to unwrap them. The vote was Tuesday. The bans on trans recognition and same-sex adoption stay, so: one down. keep reading →

The man who wrote “Sissy That Walk” with RuPaul has died. He was 46. Lucian Piane died Monday in Glendale. His songs scored fifteen years of gay pregames. We’re playing it loud today. keep reading →

Halloween party season is here, which means two problems: smelling good in a costume, and looking alive the morning after. One for each.

These are ShopMy commission links, so I earn a small cut if you buy something. It costs you nothing extra, nobody paid to be here, and it has no bearing on what makes the list. We left prices off because they move and come in a few sizes, so check before you buy.

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Kiehl’s Facial Fuel, travel size A moisturizer built to make a tired face look awake, which is the whole brief for the morning after. Travel size, so it lives in the bag you brought to the party.

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— Spencer