jesse watters says trump talking about men's asses sounds "a little gay," but it's fine because he's straight. sir, that is how it starts.

Photo: Gage Skidmore from Surprise, AZ, United States of America, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

via Mediaite and HuffPost, from the Fox News clip

Fox News spent Tuesday afternoon doing the thing straight men swear they never do, which is talk about other men's butts for several minutes on purpose.

The occasion was Monday night in Youngstown, Ohio, where President Trump told a rally he had examined Sen. Jon Husted's body. "I looked at his ass," he said in the rally clip, before moving on to Husted's hands, which he described as "claws," and, a few minutes later, his jawline. HuffPost notes that Husted played defensive back at Dayton and is in a tight race with Democrat Sherrod Brown.

what jesse watters said

On Tuesday's "The Five," co-host Emily Compagno was trying to talk about the election. Jesse Watters had other priorities. "Yeah, I mean, we're talking about guys' asses here, Emily," he said, per the broadcast clip, which we checked against Mediaite's write-up. Then the thesis:

"Listen, Trump says a lot of stuff that we all think, but we don't say, and sometimes it sounds a little gay, but he can get away with it because he's straight."

Hold that sentence up to the light. The defense of the president checking out a senator is that only a straight man is allowed to do it. That is the closet's entire business model, said out loud, on cable, by a man who two weeks ago was going "here kitty" at a streamer in a maid outfit.

and then greg gutfeld's ass

He did not stop. "Greg has no ass," Watters announced of his own co-host. "Flat, just falls off his back." Gutfeld asked whether he was allowed to say that. "The president said it. This is the topic," Watters replied. He went on to describe his assistant's hips, then offered: "I saw John Thune one time in a locker room. The guy looks like an Olympic swimmer. This is what guys say."

His closing endorsement, aimed at Brown: "You got to go with the guy with the better ass. That's what I say."

Later that evening, on X, he summed up his own segment: "A little gay? Maybe! 😂 But this is how real men talk sometimes!"

Real men, for the record, have been telling us for decades that nobody on their side talks like this, and that the people who do are us. Turns out it's just a question of whose locker room. We wish John Thune's very well.